Please Stop with the Braids

This sh*t has got to stop, everything runs its course and braids have ran their course. Seriously, this braids sh*t is the worst it. So outdated that it can't be revived. I understand you had your time in the sun, but that sh*t was the nineties and it is over. I'm going to talk about all three groups of Braid wearers who all suck for different reasons, but they suck nonetheless.
The first group is dudes, I know you all followed your boy A.I. and got braided up, but like his career, your braids are dead. You dudes with Braids have been passed up by everyone else who is alive in the game. Just look at the track record you lost Luda, then your King Allen Iverson left and he took Carmelo with him, and finally you even lost Trey Songz.
When the one man given a pass by Drake lets go of the Braids you know it's over. It looks like he realized he couldn't be running with the Ocean's crew looking like a damn fool.
The second group is the young black woman, now you guys are the closes to getting a pass, but not here. I'm saying this sh*t is just plain lazy, it looks like sh*t, and it takes hours to do. So, I say why do it? Just blow that shi*t out if you have hair and if you don't rock the short Keri Hilson look.
You know what? I hate braids so much i'm giving chicks who are sevens a chance to wear short cuts. Yes it's that bad, a qualification of a nine is usually required for the short cut, but I have to kill the braid quick fast. Seriously, some of you are just getting knocked off the list of up and coming S. Beamin concubines by wearing those dumb @ss braids.
The third and most egregious offenders of the braids has to be the White chick on vacation. Please for the love of god you people are making the biggest mistake every time you sit down in that old Jamaican lady's chair and let her put beads in your hair. Also has anyone else noticed that they all have that white mannequin head on the table, that sh*t is scary. Back to these white chicks though, I know what you're going for and you can't pull it off.
Seriously, you are no Bo Derrick, ad to be honest the only reason Bo Derrick pulled it off was because cameras sucked back then. You bitches want to know what you really look like? You look like them damn albino twins from the Matrix.
Yeah thats what grown @ss men see when you go out and do that sh*t, you should be out their tanning topless. (I hate pale tits on a tan chick ewwww). Instead your running around looking like a crazy teleporting twin. The sh*t is not attractive, even if i got you naked would you phase through my "Johnson" if I hit it too hard.
Some of you may ask what about the white dudes with braids, well he knows he's a Douche bag just like the White Rastafari. For the rest of you, you have been warned so if I see you in the streets, I just might snatch your braids out.

- S. Beamin