Major Payne

Today was like christmas. Today as like a fat kid getting the last piece of chocolate cake. Today was like finding out that your AIDS test was flawless. Today ladies and gentlemen, Major Payne came on TV. To me Major Payne is a living icon. I remember I was a corpulent little child and my grandmother took me to see that movie because she happen to be a big fan of Damon Waynes and his 19 brothers (Kim is a dude).

So today I leave you with my favorite quotes:

Major Payne: My Name is Major Benson Winifred Payne. As of 0800, I am replacing Major Frankfurt as your commanding officer.
Cadet Deak Williams, Cadets: Booo. Boooooooooooooooo.
[Major Payne has fired warning shots in the air from his pistol for their insubordination; he slowly lowers it]
Major Payne: See what we have here is a failure to communicate.
[walks up to his cadets]
Major Payne: Do not attempt to challenge my authority. I have eight weeks to turn you gaggle of maggots into a well-discipline cadet unit. From this day forward your sorry asses belong to me. You will not eat, sleep, drink, blow your nose or dig in your buts without my say so. Know this, killing is my business, ladies, and business is good