These butts are a no go

Women if you are going to wear tights please hit the gym first. You are doing yourself a disservice. My eyes can only take so much.

Observations:

Shyt Im on Natural Caffiene

Today I woke up at 4am and could not go back to sleep. I thought about going on the book of faces or words with friends, but realized that people might think I was some freak of nature by using those apps at such an early time.

I ended up turning on the tube and watching cartoon network. Before I changed the channel there was an info commercial on about some special jeans for women. Apparently someone has designed jeans that make fat chicks waist smaller be several inches. In addition, it helps to shape their ass.

Amazing was my 1st thought, the reality hit. What if a large percentage of women used such tactics to hide what really resides behind those jeans. Have I been getting dupped for years?
I can see breast implants as they are natural beauty enhancers. But to actually deceive my with jeans that makes you look thinner is where I draw the line. I may not be as morally sound as some but this Shyt is not cool.

I will always question the fitness of women from now on.

Oh the horrors.

Shyt

I chipped my mother effin moler. I don't know how this Shyt happened. All I know is I have to a over priced dentist.

I think this is love #1

I was watching our idiot brother and stumbled upon this beauty. I was in aww and my member couldn't resist the urge to move as she walk and kissed her lisbo lover on the screen. I had to say down boy. Behave yourself.

I thought to myself. I might be in love. Is this what it feels like? Where has this woman been my whole life? More importantly does she have that vaginal hubris? Is it tight? Do she do her kegels?

I didn't stop there as my mind tends to wonder when I new woman is introduced into my heart. Remits of ll cool j's song I need love started to play in the background of the thought.

I don't even know her name. Please give me the name of this rare beauty?

-Uncle Booze

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