Its Sunday and 5 o'clock Everyday

Today i literally work up and started to drink beer. I decided that it was time to get some food. I headed to Jimmy Johns and got a sandwich. That is when it hit me.....It was legal drinking time.

I will keep you posted of how the day goes.

Just my thoughts at work.

Today was a long day that consisted of my being a rat in the rat race. Nonetheless, I have to do the sh*t. However, I started to wonder what would I be doing if I didn't have this job or what would my co-workers be doing? I think we all think about this on a daily basis as you have the occasional uncomfortable water cooler talk only to find out that Sarah's brain dead child broke the lamp that have been on the family for over 10 years.

WHO GIVES A F*CK? Do you happen to know that the only reason I decided to use energy to talk to you is because this company pays me to. If I did not have that incentive, trust me I probably would have told you to f*ck off with the 1st 30 seconds of meeting you, if and only if, I discovered there was nothing you can do for me.

What really grinds my gears? Is the incompetent self righteous individuals that tend to hold you back from excelling, never gets shit done, and is always asking a favor. No SIR, I will not finish that report for you....I do not get paid two salaries. Granted no one has the heart to fire this individual. If I ever make it up the latter, this individual would be the first to get trimmed as a result of being dead weight.

Then there is the anal retentive prick who need to for lack of a better phrase, "Stop sucking Donkey Dick for humanity sake. If you follow up with your email via of phone call one minute after I recieve it, you coffee will have a special ingredient that consist of raw body fluids from the various outlets located on my body. I am a man of my word and have never opted out of taking the easy road out.

This is me everyday.

-Uncle Booze

Oh. My Effin Head

woke up this morning to pure pain. i couldn't think straight, the world was spinning before my eyes, and i couldn't remember where i parked my car. Shit happens. i wish that i would have stayed sleep for the entire morning but somehow this wasn't happening. i got out of the bed and saw FOOD. granted that the food had been sitting out all night....i still took a bite of the chicken shawarma hoping that it would sub-side the pain of the hangover. Boy was i wrong.

it made sh*t worst. after about 5 minutes, i felt a sensation that started in my stomach. my mind wondered...is my body rejecting this food!!! then it traveled up from my stomach through the esophagus to the living room floor. that was my morning and i don't have a maid. so i had to clean that shit up.

I'm Back

i know i have written to you guys and have mentioned that I am back for good but this time i am going to stick to it (f*ck grammer, this is me evey day). so i have been doing a lot of thinking over the last few months and i think i may have had a break through. i am going to be a grade a douchbag for the rest of my life. i did the nice guy routine over the last few months and that sh*t is for the birds.

when a say douche bag i mean the following:

1. it was me that was drunk and pissed on your laptop. SORRY.
2. f*ck oprah. i said it
3. your kid needs to shut the f*ck up. i dont care. if not, please leave where ever i am
4. all stupid chicks are c*nts. i hold this philosophy dear to my heart
5. Kenny Powers is my role model. true story
6. i think fat people should be put on a fat camp island where they are only allowed to eat healthy shit like BUTTERFINGERS without the carbs and sugar
7. the palin family are rednecks that some how procreated with one another to produce a family full of bullsh*t minded brains
8. women put out or get out
9. yeah i jalopped your girlfriend last night. she allowed me to. i would be more concerned about the woman you decided to call girlfriend
10. i am too drunk to think of anything that would make you say...Booze has serious issues.DON'T JUDGE ME.

-Uncle Booze