Being S. Beamin

You see that was Don Draper who is pretty much a 1960's version of S. Beamin. I know most of you want to know how to be S. Beamin so i'll tell you how to do it in four impossible steps, because you can never be as great as me, but being a pale imitation should suffice for your time on this earth.

1. Realize you are better than 99% of the people in the world.
Seriously if you were as amazing as me you would simply want to cry every morning when you realize you have to share the same air as some of the cretins. The only way to get through the day is to focus on the few people that can actually hold a candle to your greatness. The important thing is to befriend them for two totally different reasons, you befriend other men to gain their trust and then use their weakness to crush them. There is no real need to have any real competition in the world so destroying their self esteem should suffice. Women on the other hand you should befriend for the purposes of pro creation, if you are any where near as amazing as I am it is your God given duty to help create more beings with your DNA. Half of me is better than all of anyone else.

2. Be amazing at everything you do, and make it look effortless.
Some people in the world have trouble with things if you're anything like S. Beamin you don't. Never has there been a day in the life of S. Beamin that a situation has arose that I could not handle with ease. Im a modern day Super Hero it seems like no matter what the world throws at me I am the actual Teflon Don. Oh and if something were to ever happen that was in the least bit precarious there is no doubt I could slip my way out of it so is the life of S. Beamin

3. Be ahead of the curve on everything.
When I say everything I mean everything if you need to know the order of this years upcoming draft call me. If you need to know where the hottest vacation spot is you call me. The best bar in the city you call me, the best club you call me and guess what I don't even go to clubs. You know the fall collections from your favorite fashion houses I know their muses and where they got their direction from. The latest restaurants, shoes, and hot chicks on the scene you call me. And if you think of any other questions you can call me.

4. Be the opposite of who you really are, because you are no where near being S. Beamin
I should really apologize to you because I gave you the false hope that you could actually be like me. The sad fact of the matter is that you can't even become that pale imitation of me we talked about earlier. There is only one person who could hope to ever be as amazing as me and that will be a tough task for the "6th". So when you see me just bask in the glory that is S. Beamin, please don't think that i'll rub off on you because it would make me sick to even touch you.

- S. Beamin
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