Thanks to the Bush administration we have a new phrase in our vernacular "Axis of Evil" now while most people look at anyone involved in an axis with disgust and contempt I see it another way. The Axis is simply a group of people that are hated by the masses because they decide to stretch the bounds of what is acceptable to those in the norm. The "Axis of Evil" as we once knew it consisted of three countries that dared to spit in the face of the worlds last great super power. It is simply three countries that were thrown together without any formal agreement Iraq, Iran and North Korea. While things have not worked out so swimmingly for that "Axis of Evil" the new one looks to break the rules of conformity in a brand new way. Who makes up this new Axis you say, well that answer is easy Spencer Pratt, Scott of "Keeping up with the Kardashians" fame and your fearless leader S. Beamin.
The first step to create a Axis of course is for someone to present the idea that these three are somewhat related in their mindset and way of doing things. So lets go to the source the person who made this connections, that person would of course be my friend C. Maki. For some unknown reason one day while watching that sham of a Tv special known as the Kardashian Wedding special she had an Idea. That idea was that S. Beamin and Scott were similar personalities. While I disagreed at first the idea was soon co-signed by her friend Mia aka My Future Baby Momma. It was something to do with or overwhelming confidence and high opinion of ourselves The problem was there was only two, but then in the following week the third member was found by Ms. Maki the one and only Spencer Pratt.
Looking at the original Axis lets see how these three fit into our world spectrum. In this Axis Spencer represents Iraq as he is the member with the longest standing as a source of infamy. Spencer has been in-battled with a long time nemesis in the form of Lauren Conrad, but like Iraq he survived the first skirmish and even won some of the spoils in the form of his lovely wife Heidi Montag. Currently like Iraq he is embattled in a new battle with the woman he married as she tries to force a child upon him. Will he win only time will tell.
Scott on the other hand represents Iran a country long looked at with contempt by the world yet just powerful enough to keep them at arms length. Like Iran and Iraq Spencer and Scott live in a similar vacinty, but held no alliance until now. Scott showed up sporadically in years past as simply the modern day incarnation of all those 80's teen movie villains. He seemed to always get the girl that others didn't think he deserved, he was the kind of guy who wormed his way into your life as a seemingly kind hearted fellow. That is until you got to know him when he soon started to exude confidence that others saw as cockiness. He might seem slightly swarmy or smarmy to some, but now like Iran he has a ace in the hole. While Iran may potentially hold a nuke, Scott has knocked up a Kardashian the simplest way in the world to seal yourself into a family.
The third member of the axis is yours truly S. Beamin who takes the mantle of North Korea. Why North Korea, because Im unpredictable. As the only person not connected to a significant other I am isolated much like North Korea. What does that mean, simply it means I can pop up anywhere and drop a bomb just like North Korea. You think Im taking a break from creating trouble I test a nuke just like North Korea. I also have an utter disregard for any kind of authority other than my own. Im simply a taller, better looking, and dressing version of Kim Jong Il. If i don't like something i simply destroy it, if i want something I simply go out and take it and like Kim the first time I played golf I shot -20. I'm simply the worlds Wild Card so crazy that the word unpredictable doesn't do me justice.
So yes world we are here, the new "Axis of Evil" we aim for world domination and to succeed where the original one failed. We will be in your lives and homes forever and we will make you conform to our will. So when you wake up in a cold sweat wondering what has happened to your world thank C. Maki, because without her the greatness that are these three individuals may never have come together to form the new "Axis of Evil".
- S. Beamin
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