I am Emotionally Unavailable #1

Throughout college, my found utopia, chicks always wanted to get serious with your boy. I am not down for that sh*t. Do I look like sensitive guy number 1. Hell no. I am a grade A @ssshole that sh*ts on everything for my enjoyment. Yes. You try to make me look like a fool, I promise you I will come out on top by making you look like a tribe from one of those National Geographic documentaries. You will be fishing the lagoon with a stick in leaf clothing. Get the point?

I sure hope so.

For the record, I wasn't looking to get all emotional and stuff because I am emotionally unavailable. There are only 3 things I need from chicks....food, sex, and booze. Your heart you could keep. At least I am being honest. Some guys would lead a chick on to hit...not me. I hit them with the truth. The only thing I could offer resides in my pants. It is a symbiotic relationship.....You get naked and I let you. Your boy is back. If you don't like the terms....keep it moving because I looking for the next chick in line........... ding number 123,890 Uncle Booze is now ready for you to put out.

People are always like Booze you can be more sensitive. I don't know how. Hell I don't even have tears ducts. Yes they do not exist on me. So I would just tell chicks,get your mind right. This is what it is and this is how its going to be. I don't care about your day, family, or anything that does not revolve around me getting pleasured. I truly mean this. Besides you know the terms before you got into them because of my honesty.

-Uncle Booze