She's a Maxim Girl....Amanda Bynes

I was reading one of my favorite publications online (Maxim) and a see a f*cking link that said Amanda Bynes. Yes we all grew up watching All That and some other shows she was on. Well I was shock to see this name associated with this publication as well. Okay I really don't read the sh*t, I look at the hot women and may read something about them If my dick tells me to. Meaning if she is HOT, I would see where she came from and what not.

I have good news..... she is now 23...LEGAL and ready to have some more adult like scenes in her movies. Dont get your hopes up at all because she claims she is not ready for porn. Such a f*ckinh drag. I can say one thing...boy has her tits gotten bigger. I was shock to see this little on with some respectable size tots. In the words of Tyson, I want to ravish them. I want to display my dominance over them.

Amanda if you are out there. I have something that would give you, something your Nickelodeon audience could never give you. I really don't want to wine and dine you. You seem more like the chocolate syrup and whip cream type. Good news for you is I have a lifetime supply of that sh*t begging to be used on a newly invented chick as yourself. I advise you not to be shy. I don't believe in that America's Sweetheart bullsh*t you have displayed over the past few years. When I see you eyes in picture...they tell me...Booze I like it from behind, then I want to do it cowgirl. Listen I have a whole routine geared just for you. Its called....DO IT HOW I WANT IT. Trust me you will like it. I even have a cowboy hat that needs to come out of retirement.

I must admit you look very awkward in these photos. Don't try so hard. Just show some nips and ass, then coast through. This is the best advice I can give you. I am sure it will come with time. I admire your drive. If all else fails, I have written a porno just for you. I starts on the set of ALL THAT.

-Uncle Booze