I've been on the move more specifically i've been moving to Louisiana well some of the shit is good some of it's sucked. The one thing that has sucked has been the on going war between me and my stomach. Yes me and my guts are locked in an intense battle of wills and only one of us will win. Right now I hate my fucking guts. In my opinion he started the war but he blames me, he says I ate some rank cajun shit, while I say he should have processed it and been done with it.
The battle has gotten so bad that I can barley go to work, or make it through a single meal. This dude comes with these fucked up sneak attacks out of no where. The worst one was when I was on my way to my first day of work. He started to lob some soft preliminary bombs at me early in the morning but I was able to evade those bad boys with quick thinking. The true problem came when he decided to let me get in my car. This son of a bitch waited until i was half way down the road to ambush me it was so bad I had to pull over and blow up a McDonalds. Have you ever seen the faces of the people when you run into a McDonalds dominate the restroom and don't even buy a Egg McMuffin, pure disgust.
It wasn't over yet as now it was my turn to strike instead of going Barack Obama on his ass with some Pepto I said fuck it and hit him with that George W. Yeah I cooked up a steaming hot bowl of chili, im talking the works. I put Jalapenos, Banana Peppers, Chili Peppers, and some Cayenne Peppers in there just for fun. Thats not it though because I know this fool hates dairy so added the 5 cheeses blend and Sour Cream, I don't even like Sour Cream. Fuck you nigga Im bringing the lactose.
Well that was a mistake as this mother fucker waited not 3 minutes into the meal before he decided it was atomic bomb time. Yeah dude unleashed his fury upon me, the sad thing is I could take it I survived, but there was collateral damage namely my toilet. That shit was fucked up like damn homey you used to be tha man homey fucked up. What sucked worst is the next day was my house keepers first day, fuck it she got paid ill see if she come back this week though.
It seems like the battle has slowed down but every now and then we take little pot shots at each other whether it be him making me miss the end of the 1st half of the Texas game or me eating at some fucked up hole in the wall. The battle lines have been drawn and if this fucker fucks around i'll cut him out. I decided to not include pictures because first that shit is disgusting and second what kind of grown man takes pictures of his shits.
- S. Beamin
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