To my dearest Elin,
I am drunk right now and was thinking about how lonely that you are at this current time. I know that Tiger did you wrong, but there is a LION ready to pounce on you Simba style. I saw you in your glory days and know that you haven't let yourself go. Com'on you are indeed a MILF. I see you in the media wondering....."How am I going to get through this sh*t?' Well, I have the answer for you. It is call my dank.It is ready for you...It has no worries or concerns.
Listen, I have a two step program. First I help you during your time of need, then help you get my jizz on your face. You don't have to sign any type of arrangement. I will let you know the terms up front. I DON'T WANT ANY KIDS. THE ONLY THING I WANT you already got.
But I am sure the arrangement will help you gain some dignity about yourself.
-Uncle Booze
(I would normally write crude and graphic sh*t, but I was trying to let you know I was sincere).
dude these disney movie analogys are creeping me out. its like a huge question mark looking over my back, taping on my shoulder and youre to scared to look over ergo know the answer...so i wont ask.
ReplyDeletebut surely Tiger was an idiot not keeping this hoe in check. a girl who hammers your car has some serious issues to exploit in bed.