Yes for those of you who thought it was impossible my country allowed me to go to a foreign country and represent them as a citizen of the United States. And represent I did, the craziest sh*t is that the Chinese Government gave me a Visa, yeah a Visa that allows me to come back anytime within the next year. I ripped through that country for ten days and 10 nights of pure debauchery. From Beijing to Shanghai and some Province near The Great Wall in between, S Dot burned a path of drunkin destruction through the forbidden city. This was all great, but nothing compared to the last night in China.
Now, when I decide to go out with a bang I get it going. So how the hell do we start the night, oh only by buying and downing a bottle of Johnny Walker around three in the afternoon. Yeah that's the jump off you know where I went next Chinese 40s, yeah b*tch we call it GO BEEER! So the team is now running on full tanks of alcohol, I'm talking busting fireworks in rooms wearing SARS mask like Jacko.
As soon as your boy gets to the club, I gotta deal with these beggars. I'm yelling Booo Yow, Chinese for "Hell no you f*cking Bum", but one caught me off guard with their offer. This b*tch tried to sell me her baby, yes a f*cking baby and you know the price........21 Yuan. At the time that equals out to about 7 dollars, 1 kid = 7 US green backs people. Now when I got back people told me maybe I should have bought the kid, but at that time my answer was "I ain't trying to be no Fatha awwww!". I wanted to get in the club and you ain't getting in no club I don't care where in the world you are with a baby, word to Knocked Up. Second how am I going to get this baby through customs I can't declare a baby; what kind of sh*t would that be.
The rest of the night was of course a blur as we all decided to get hammered beyond belief. When I say hammered I mean it. We drank everything in front of us and then some.
Then things went to another level as me and my man "KADE" got hold of our favorite bottle John Jamison. So when two drunks have bottles of Jamison and no control...... sh*t gets crazy. We were running around the club poring drinks knighting people into the clan of John Jamison. We were out of control I'm talking people hanging off the rooftop and urling on bums and passersby alike.
The craziest thing is once we left I didn't stop. Yes, I had to keep going because when I go in I go HAM as my people would say. You know what that means...... elevator party in the hotel. What is that, oh it's simple I take a bottle from the club, so does someone else, and we hit the elevator. We went up and down until we dropped I'm talking jumping out on different floors for impromptu parties ruining other guests lives we didn't care.
The next morning I woke up clothes drunk packed during my blackout and ready to hit the states. Your boy went to the airport in his club clothes bought a Chairman Mao tee, drank a bottle of mints with a Jamison chaser, and boarded the plane. Once on this 11 hour flight I not only decided to take a inordinate amount of Ambien I decided it was party time. This amazing combo lead to me getting cut off in a plane. Yes I was on the edge of being detained in the friendly Sky's after I tricked a stewardess (dumb ho) into getting me another drink. Thankfully I landed in the US where I slept for 10 hours and started again. Only in the life of S Dot.
- S. Beamin
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