Second Job...Denied

I got inspired by that show on HBO....Bored To Death......to teach people the way of booze. Apparently, the world isn't ready to learn my ways because my ad on Craigslist, in the job wanted section, was removed. I posted my resume and the sh*t got taken down real quick. Like a matter of an hour or two. It pisses my off because "professional entertainers"/ "I'm really am a hooker, not an escort" get to put ads, but a local drunk cannot. WTF.

flagged & removed: 1425965540 (resumes) Drunk For Hire.....Seriously

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Date: 1255812484

PostID: 1425965540

Title: (resumes) Drunk For Hire.....Seriously

I am a local drunk that loves to have a good time and willing to help you drink your booze. I want to get paid for my antics and philosophies on life. I seriously thought that putting myself on Craigs List would open up new opportunities for me in life that consist of the following:

- Drinking booze to the point of no return; I don't want to feel my face.

- Meeting hot chicks that put out. Normally, I wouldn't put this because it sounds bad, but we are all adults here. I have safe practices. I ask for their papers and strap up.

- Bar hopping. This is my favorite pass time and you should try it. I even initiated a world beer tour. I'm trying like every beer known to man thats served at bars.

- Passing out in bushes and getting found 2 days later.

- Losing my car for a period of like 2 weeks. I refuse to purchase lo-jac so sh*t happens. This seems to be consistent.

- Being the life of the party. This is my trademark. I can teach you the technique

- Supporting single mother's one dollar at a time (Strippers). I know its not a respectable profession, but to me its like a spa treatment for males.

- Pissing on like random stuff. This one time in college, I pissed on the hood of this chick's car because she deserved it. To this day, everyone reminds me of all the dumb sh*t I have done.

The above list is things I do on a regular basis and could show you the way. We all are on the earth for a brief period, so make the best of it. Being a drunk is fun and easy when you get the hang of it.

Serious offers only or whatever.

-Uncle Booze

www.uncleboozepresents.blogspot.com