Bully Beat Down...Give me an UFC Fighter!!!!!

Lately, I have had some time to watch TV and came across this show that showcases cowards wanting help with a bully. These are grown f*cking men getting bullied. WTF. That is pretty pathetic. I think MTV needs to give me an UFC fighter. Not just any fighter Chuck Liddel. Why you ask?

The 1st thing I would do is rob a bank. Yes, rob a bank with Chuck Liddel. Chuck would kick everyones' @ss in like 5 minutes. BAM (like the old Batman show) against all the guards. After he is done opening up a can of whop @ss, I would grab the money and continue our streak of terror.

Next, I would rob Best Buy of all of its electronics and resale them on eBay, while Chuck continues to whop @ss. Chuck would 1st kick through those sliding doors of the blue and yellow store. Karate chop the guard. One down two to do. Chuck would then run to the second guard and jump kick his @ss. Lastly, Chuck would round house the last guard. Similar to how I would kick Chuck Norris' @ss.

Then, we would rob the nearest liquor distribution center. The one that has my best friends in stock... Jim Bean, Jack Daniels, and Johnny Walker. There wouldn't be any guards, but we would have to hurry before the cops get there. Once, I have gathered my lifetime supply of BOOZE GLORIOUS BOOZE, we would meet up to discuss our next rain of terror.

Lastly, I would take down the Mexican drug cartel just to right all the wrong I had previously done. I would then redistribute the drugs to other crime organizations to make a profit. I only wanted to take down the Mexican drug cartel because I want to go to Cancun. I know you are all wondering how the h*ll are we going to do this without getting shot or without any guns. Easy motherf*ckers, it's Chuck Liddel. Chuck Liddel can travel faster than Superman, Judo chop bullets, crush the skulls of babies just by breathing, and beat the f*ck out of anyone in hand to hand combat.

-Uncle Booze