The other day was that second rate-drinking holiday called Cinco de Mayo. It will never be another Saint Paddy’s day like some Mexican’s would hope. This second-rate day is filled with Tequila, Margaritas, Mexican Beers, and Jell-O Shots. All separately and some together make for a good time, but there is one X-factor that will ruin your day.
That my friends is the fish taco. I had three of these devils and I swear to God they were made from fish that floated on the bottom of the ocean eating sh*t. Like these fish must be Tossing Salads, yes a Mother F*ckin Gay fish. I swear I ate those *itches with habenero sauce and everything was all good. I drank my @ss off, but I had to pass on the Jell-O shots that tasted like beef.
It turned into one of those goodnights where you party with all your friends, some nice young ladies, and a big "tittied" b*tch that should be working at the Hooters across the street. The night goes so well that the old lady at the gas station sells you beer even though it’s after hours.
I even woke up felling good as I found out that I spent less money than I thought meaning more beer for me. Then it happened Seces De Mayo, now I don’t throw up so that’s not what happened, what happened was fish tacos. I swear to god those little sh*ts cleaned out my system. I spent 20 of the next 24 hours in the bathroom. I believe in being clean so that means I went through a pack of Charmin’s Mega Rolls and Two bottles of Irish Spring body wash.
I understand now that this was revenge for all my jokes about the Mexican people. Think about it.... thought...... who else has 15 grown men on a truck, who then jump out and cut my lawn in 5 minutes. What other people can catch Flu from f*cking swine and then spread it to the great state of Texas. What other country has that many people, but no Olympic medals, because all of their people who can run, jump, or swim are over here. I’m not talking about them because they all wear Dickies Jumpsuits everyday. I’m talking about them because they fed me a rancid fish taco that ruined my day. After this, I reconsidered my position that Old Lady I tripped in Cancun deserved it.
I even woke up felling good as I found out that I spent less money than I thought meaning more beer for me. Then it happened Seces De Mayo, now I don’t throw up so that’s not what happened, what happened was fish tacos. I swear to god those little sh*ts cleaned out my system. I spent 20 of the next 24 hours in the bathroom. I believe in being clean so that means I went through a pack of Charmin’s Mega Rolls and Two bottles of Irish Spring body wash.
I understand now that this was revenge for all my jokes about the Mexican people. Think about it.... thought...... who else has 15 grown men on a truck, who then jump out and cut my lawn in 5 minutes. What other people can catch Flu from f*cking swine and then spread it to the great state of Texas. What other country has that many people, but no Olympic medals, because all of their people who can run, jump, or swim are over here. I’m not talking about them because they all wear Dickies Jumpsuits everyday. I’m talking about them because they fed me a rancid fish taco that ruined my day. After this, I reconsidered my position that Old Lady I tripped in Cancun deserved it.
S. Beamin
No comments:
Post a Comment