Don't Take Ambien in the Middle of the Day

I sometimes come to the blog to teach you people life lessons and this is one of those times. People do not I repeat do not take Ambien in the middle of the day. I unfortunanently did this dumb @ss sh*t last week and I lost a f*cking day. Not because I fell asleep, but because I didn’t. I slept walked through an entire day. This is dangerous when you are S. Beamin; because I do dumb things when I’m at full capacity. At half mass, I’m a walking disaster. I took those bad boys around 11 thinking I could take a mean mid day nap not only did that not happen, but I stayed up and started drinking. This was a huge mistake, because I don’t know what happened next.

I’m talking memory gaps that could be filled with a cruise liner. I woke up in my car driving, yes driving. Not from anywhere but from school. Yeah I went to class. Me and my car were speeding through a school zone listening to Metallica; I blasted a napkin in my hand filled with blood. Blood from my mouth, I knew not just from the taste in my mouth, but because I then coughed up some more blood for the h*ll of it. Thankfully, I got home safe took, a shot of Patron, and opened up my backpack. MacBook was still there, so was my Ipod Touch and a spiral full of notes. Not only did I go to class, but also I took notes. These particular notes were coherent yet not in my handwriting. Not like the chick next to me took notes and gave them to me, but my hand writing just better.

Yes, loyal readers my handwriting gets better when I’m zoned out of my mind. I should have stopped there, but I then proceeded to go to the local super market, eat all the free food, and knocked down cereal & toilet paper. I then proceeded to party the Wednesday night away. The problem with sleep walking through parties and bad sex (I’m talking terrible) is that I was in no way or shape tired. This meant no sleep and I passed out at 10 the next morning in the study lounge.

So unlike all the fun pills you can do please read the instructions to your sleeping pills. All that other stuff we do is cool though.

- S. Beamin