Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Tales of Drunken S. Beamin


Once upon a time in my youth, I went to Cancun for the third time with some of my friends to get trashed and jump up on some strange. Well, I got really drunk, as usual, for seven days and seven nights, but on the sixth day something special happened. I had my first bout with true evil. I’m talking the beast within came loose and struck out.

It all happened on a bus, as we moved to the next watering hole. A kindly old lady came and sat down behind. As usual, drunk me paid her no mind. This was until we made it to her stop; this is when the darkness inside me struck. For some reason, I looked down at my foot that was strewn in the aisle and couldn’t move it. My mind said move it; my heart said I should, but nothing happened. Then all of a sudden a voice came into my mind and said, "F*ck go ahead and trip her. DO IT!" I then watched as this old lady proceeded to catch her cane and foot on mine and tumble to the floor of the bus. I then swiftly retracted my leg and looked around in complete horror, as she screamed Spanish profanities at me.

She then decided the thing to do was point at me and blame me for her actions. I of course denied, denied, denied, that is my motto in life. Inside, I knew I did it and smiled a little to myself as I had embraced evil for the first time.


- S. Beamin

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