For some reason or another, I keep getting picked for jury duty. When I get chosen it is always a month or two out of the 1 year window to be excused. WTF. I think the government has systematically implemeted a plan to waste my Friday morning and afternoon.
Normally on Fridays, I start my day with a brew, watch Sportscenter, and then sin with beautiful women. Not a bad sin, but pleasurable sin. The sin that takes me to a point of no return. I call it estacy. Well today this is not the case. Instead, I am sitting in front of two women, that would never make my milf of the week selection list if they were the last 2 women in the world, who won't shut the f*ck up. The lady next to me looks like she belongs in the movie Roots cleaning the wounds of the slaves (no offense to anyone).
In front of me is PAT, I cannot tell if it is a man or woman. What a horrible life to live. And for some reason, there are more than 8 people in here coughing vigorously. I pray that they do not have that swine flu or SARS sh*t.
To top things off, every chick in her is an older model car. One that I would not waste time getting a Carfax report to see if it is a lemon. There is an assortment of pintos and 1991 chevy Sentras in here. You wouldn't get any trade in value for them at all. I wouldn't do any of them with my legendary beer googles on. Why don't the jury selection people pick women that are new model Mercedes and Lexus? That would be too perfect huh?
-Uncle Booze
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