During my drunken stupors, I tend to take pisses in random places. Just the other day, I pissed in front on someone's house, while they were in the leaving room watching TV. I know, but who cares. But one of these days something terrible may happen. Just last night, I was out at a bar and I went to take a piss, then it appeared...... a f*cking mosquito. WTF. Then it started swarming toward my Johnson. Time froze still for 1 minutes. Then I started to think, What if the small @ss bug had the audacity to want to bite me on my "No No Special Place." That would suck. Like imagine if that damn bug bit someone with AIDS and I got f*cking AIDS from a mosquito bite. Getting bit alone by a mosquito down there would be f*cking bad, but getting a STD without having unprotected sex would be the worst sh*t ever. Going to the doctor and finding out you got a STD from a bug bit. From this day forward, I have decided to wage war against the potential deadly STD transmitting American Mosquito. Next time, I will not be that nice when I see one of those motherf*ckers. If you are like a bug activist and reading this, f*ck you and your cause.
-Uncle Booze
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