If there is one thing we know about Chivas is that he knows how to party, but what happens after the party is something that is rarely seen. This story takes on that quandary as our drunken mess of a man wakes up under his friend Jimmy’s pool table. It took Chivas a few minutes to realize where he was, but when he did all the memories of the night before flooded back in horrible fashion.
As he moved downstairs he saw the faces of his friends Russ, Jimmy, and Goliath who were all going through the same thing he was. What was their answer to this problem Jack Daniels Single Barrel for breakfast of course. The bottle was downed quicker than you would expect, and soon the girls that were left suggested that they all go to the cities Galleria.
While the girls got ready Chivas and Russ drove to Casa Chivas to get Chivas a change of clothing. While pulling out of his block in Mean Green the turn didn’t sit well with Chivas as he puked out of the side of the vehicle. The things you should now about Mean Green is that it has a death rattle and some times the speedometer goes out. On this trip both things happened on the highway and with inebriated state the two were in they shook it off with no problem. The only problem in their mind was the fact that they were getting sober. So of course they went to the gas station to buy some beer where they were informed by Jimmy and Goliath that they were fuckin crazy, had been driving 70 mph, and had cut across three lanes of traffic repeatedly. None of this fazed the two as they dropped two beers in the parking lot and two more on the way to the Galleria.
Now I need to tell you that the Galleria was a second home to Chivas and today Russ was about to trash his home. Every store they went into Russ would proceed to pull tons of clothing psyching the sales person up only to pull the carpet out from under them as he ran off. After three stores of this Chivas thought Russ would be over it but no. In a very prominent store that Chivas actually where some of Chivas’ friends actually worked Russ went into action. By now Chivas thought he was sober so he began his usual routine of hitting on some chicks in the store. While Chivas was busy Russ tried on 11 outfits and was fitted for a suit, and in a blink of an eye the call came. As Chivas was rounding the corner with the brunette in the group Russ yelled to run as he sprinted out of the store. Chivas hadn’t realized but Russ had been sweating on all the clothes he had no intention of buying.
After their escape Russ and Chivas were approached with an opportunity to make some money. Each of them would be paid five dollars if they sat through a screener of the New Fifty Cent movie Get Rich or Die Tryin. They figured that the ten dollars they would make would buy them beer for the pre party. So after what seemed like a 20 minute walk the drunks sat down and watched a shit film. As they went to get their payment they found out they were only getting One whole American Dollar. As they each talked to their separate sales person they each got a personal lecture on how drunk they seemed. Chivas found out that both of the ladies thought he was the drunkest and that neither should drive home. So what did they do, drank a hot beer in the parking lot and drove off to find some more trouble.
- S. Beamin
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