Chick Attractiveness Strategy

The other day, I S. Beamin actually learned something in school and instead of using it for good, I will transform it in to evil. What did I learn you ask?? Well, I learned about a little something called the Quantitative Strategy Planning Matrix or QSPM. This little matrix is supposed to help me pick the most attractive strategy as a manager for my company, I will be using it to pick the most attractive girl for my d*ck. And, I will impart this knowledge onto you.
First, you need to find the key success factors for the chicks in competition for your d*ck. I like to pick one out of four, because it’s a nice round number. Next, is to list the internal strengths and weaknesses of a chick. These are the things she can control and must take responsibility for. Next I’ll list here external opportunities and threats.... things that the outside world will use to break her down in my eyes.

Second, you set the girls up you have chosen to pick from. You can use their names or numbers that go along with a picture key. I’m a big fan of the picture key. The third step is to assign a weight to each key success factor..... all the internals should equal up to one and all the externals should equal up to one.

The fourth step is to assign an attractiveness score or a rating to each factor by asking how does this factor effect my choice in chicks. If it’s not really attractive give it a 1, 2 if it’s just a little attractive, 3 if it is quite attractive, and a 4 if it makes you want to rip her pants off and bend her over a table.

The next step is to get her total attractiveness score for each factor by multiplying the weight and the attractiveness score. The last step is to add all the TAS (Total Attractiveness Score) up and the one with the highest total TAS is your winner.

So, here we go. Lets see this chart in full effect. First, lets find the chicks and pick which one I’ll try to f*ck. For the purpose of this example, we’ll use a mixture of chicks I actually do know and some I don’t. The ones I don’t know, I’ll just project my feelings upon them.
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Now that you know the contestants lets see how the scored on the Pick a Chick Matrix. Click on Picture to enlarge.

According, to the chart my first conquest of the four should be lovely lady number four. She just happens to be Camesha who I met during my short time at the Atlantis Resort on Paradise Island. Yeah, your boy Beamin does it big. We actually met during one of those numerous fashion pageants they hold in the lower level of the resort. She is a nice girl with an island accent, with a great body, and a good head on her shoulders. She also has a start up fashion business and looks banging in a bikini..... so good stuff. And in true S. Beamin fashion none of the other chick are eliminated by any means they simply got pushed down the list. Looks like I’m getting some plane tickets boys.


- S. Beamin