Now the title to this post is a lie I don’t know a single guy that goes to Hooters for the wings, I feel bad even putting that owl up there we know what I'm there for. The chicken sandwich maybe, the tits definitely. I myself love Hooters if you ask me where we should go eat I say Hooters, that’s because if you wanted good food you would have a plan an not ask me where to go. Now it’s true I’m a bit of a foodie and I eat in the best restaurants in whatever city I’m in, but I love the Hoot. One day while we were rolling around the ATL my boy asked me why, I thought about it and replied “They got chicken, beer, and boobs that's the trifecta what more could you want” and that people is the truth.
No where else other than my house do I get the full combination of tits, beer, and meat? Now chicken/poultry might not be steak, but hey their boobs are out I can get over it. The great thing about Hooters is everyone has a Hooter story and everyone has the one Hooter’s story that almost turned you off the place. Yes I’m talking about the Hooters waitress with no Hooters. No it’s not a purple unicorn, because it’s happened to us all at one point or another. Now don’t worry it happens to the best of us we get there and we just pick the wrong section, it happened to me on my first visit. Now this could have ended my Hooters career, but no I learned from my mistake. The first and only step you need to learn is scope the area, you can sit wherever in Hooters and you can do it whenever so peep the prospects and draft that set of Double Ds.
Lets be honest some of them peeps in the back can burn I’ve been to Hooters in every state I’ve been to, as well as Mexico, Canada, The Virgin Islands, and I just couldn’t find it when I was China or I would have been in there too. Look whenever your beer at this place gets low a chick is rolling up and hitting you with a perfect poor, what more could you want. Oh yeah the full bar they just added your boy S. Dot is in there like it’s a second home. If you’re from the south then you know you get the fried pickles to show off that good ole boy heritage. If you’re feeling randy you can pull your girl over for some oysters a bottle of Dom and see what happens, but this leads to another problem.
Now the other problem people fall into at Hooters is the chick actually likes me trap. This will happen with almost every guy in the world, she bats her eyes, bends down, leans in, and smiles. Most dudes are done right there you’ve added five dollars to the tip and you don’t even have a drink. Now I’ll be honest with you it’s happened to me as well, the only difference between me and you is I’m 6 for 10. Yeah that’s right your boy Beamin has caught the eye of 6 chicks from the Hoot, now the other 4 I crashed and burned hard. The thing is you gotta diversify that means you gotta go for not just the white shirts, but the black shirts as well. Personally the contrast with the black and orange does it for me. I've even pulled two of the girls who wear polos so you know they were high class and definitely did not disappoint. It’s hard I know, but look at this way three of them came to me so I’m good but not great.
Now all this talk has got me ready to go so if you need me S Dot will be trying to go 7 for 11 at the local Hooters. To think about it I might have to call one of those old Hooters girls and see how they get down on St. Paddy’s day boobs do look good in green, just like beer. My compatriot Uncle Booze is also a lover of Hooters both the body part and the restaurant, so he'll definitely be chiming in.
- S. Beamin
No comments:
Post a Comment