The latest offering S. Beamin brings to the masses will be the tales of a man known as Chivas. Chivas could be me, a friend, a dude I barely know, or even a multitude of people. Chivas will regale you with stories of pure debauchery that will only serve to make you feel better about yourself. The first story will bring you a tale of drugs, breaking shit and the pure love of not giving a fuck.
Chivas like most people meets people on a regular day basis that will end up in the wake of his pure love of destruction. This night was no different as Chivas and his gang started their night. This party was a little different; because they had an advantage that was rare their driver was the daughter of a judge. You know what that means drunk driving with pure immunity.
To start the day Chivas and his boys decided the best way to spend their time was to make weed brownies. As usual this was some shit they had never done before so fuck up were sure to ensue. Making the brownies wasn’t the problem eating them was, Chivas and friends being retards they decided that each of them eating half a pan was the best bet. By the time the girls finally arrived to get ready for the party Chivas figured the brownies were shit and ate another three big mistake.
Chivas was now tripping balls as he got into the whip and headed for the party, the best part was they were all headed to a party where they knew no one. So what does Chivas and crew do when they get there take over the keg of course. Yeah I’m talking a two-man crew that just sits in the keg room drinking and deciding who is worthy enough to drink. Chivas and crew finally meet the homeowner who is a nice enough chick, but whom they can see is easily over her head.
Not being happy with taking over someone else’s keg Chivas decides it’s time to raid the private stock. Finding nothing but Jew Beer (actual Hebrew Kosher beer people) it was time for the destruction to begin. Chivas went head first into fuck it mode first making out with chicks that had no idea what they were in for. Next Chivas found the only person he had meet before at the party and decided to call the kids racist uncle. Yep dudes uncle was a full-fledged member of the Klan of Klu. The message could only be described as a graphic narrative of race mixing and big dicking white chicks that would ruin any White Supremacist ears. This display could only be topped by one thing Chivas’ boy Goliath.
Goliath being a man of his size could not be missed, so when the party host quickly blew him off we all knew it was on. With the party in full swing Goliath sauntered up to the already full, newly installed (the chick was bragging about it to Chivas) marble ledge and pushed the crowd away. Yep you know what happened next first it was a squeak, a creak, a crack, and then a crash. Yes the whole ledge came crashing down crushing the marble ledge on the floor.
Unlike most people the party wasn’t over for Chivas and pals with the party host freaking out on the phone with her parents. Chivas and crew proceeded to steal about ten bottles of wine to keep the party going.
Drinking and driving through the streets the gang laughed at the night they had just had. The crazy thing was that this was about a six on scale on one through ten for Chivas.
- S. Beamin
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