I do not mean any disrespect to anyone from Orlando, but Orlando is not on the hot spots for partying. Yesterday I had the opportunity to travel to Orlando to fly out for my next spring break extravaganza. While on the way, we decided on our plans to explore the legendary city of Orlando. Everyone always talk about how they want to go to Orlando after wining some sports championship or some sh*t like that. I do not want to get into specifics. Boy was I f*cking wrong.
Our plans to attend a shack bar, code word for strip club. Trust me I am not a regular. I thought it would be an awesome idea to support single mothers, one dollar at a time, during this recession thing. Especially considering they were providing us pure entertainment in the form of trained rump shaking.
The ingenious plan was to go get a bottle of the potion of good time, Patron. We literally drove to two different liquor stores on a quest for the potion of good times. Every time we arrived at a liquor store the sh*t had just closed. I was on the worst streak possible. These f*ckers don't have a liquor store that stays open pass 12 midmight. Even worse, the shaky club closes at 2.
I would like to make a very kind suggestion for Orlando to rethink your strategy for providing activities for tourist. Although, I like the Space Mountain ride; not everyone want to see some giant mouse with a high pitched voice. What about the tourist that just want to have typical American fun by supporting single mothers or the local liquor store?
I hope that in the near future Orlando adhere to the needs of people like myself and S. Beamin.
-Uncle Booze
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